The Trip- Gotcha Day!

Wednesday   OUR GOTCHA DAY!
     IT'S OFFICIAL. I'm a MOMMY. A part of me just can't believe my dream has finally come true and the other part of me is chanting, "What have I done, what have I done, what have I done?" Gulnara Zaitova became my daughter this morning at around 9:25 am. The court hearing was intimidating, but not all that hard. The worst part was not knowing what everyone was saying.
      The judge, the director of Babyhouse #3, a prosecutor, and the director of the ministry of education were there as well as Gulbanu and a secretary. I had to give a speech about why I wanted to adopt (in general), why I picked this child, and how I saw our future together. I did a pretty good job until I talked about our future. That's when I got all teary. I asked them to please grant me the adoption of Gulnara becasue she is what makes my heart whole. When the judge read the order of adoption, I didn't feels as excited as I thought I would. I guess it was the reality that I am now responsible for this little girl for the rest of her life. That is such an intimidating thought.
      All of us were granted our adoptions and then we had to go back to the babyhouse to take the kids to have passport photos made AGAIN!. This time we went to a different place and they only had to take Grace's picture four times before they got one that would work.
     We went home for a little while to get ourselves together and then we went back to pick the children up at 3:00 pm. We gave Megol the clothes we had brought to take them home in and we went upstairs to the director's office. There we asked if we could visit the baby room one more time to take pictures and thank the caregivers. When we got there, they had the girls ready so we stood in the baby room and took pictures with the caregivers, the director, and Gulbanu. We got to take pictures of the cribs that they slept in; Grace slept in Crib # 7. Then we went back to the director's office.         We presented our gifts to her and thanked her. She told us to take good care of these children and she knew that they would grow up being loved and given good homes. She told us to come back again to adopt another child. I asked Gulbanu to please tell her that our children would always know where they came from. That's when we all just about started crying. Then it was time to go. We bundled them up and went outside. We took a few more pictures outside of the babyhouse and by the time we got in the car, Grace was asleep.

    We had to run by the store to pick up a few things, so Aunt Mary and Andre ran in while I stayed in the car with Grace. When we got to the apartment, she woke up. She did really well. She played on the floor and was all smiles with both Aunt Mary and me. After about an hour, she had an anxiety attack. I think she finally realized that this was not the babyhouse and she needed reassurance. Aunt Mary held her a little while and then I did. She calmed down, but since then, she won't let me or Aunt Mary out of her sight.
      She had her first bath in the sink in the bathroom. She loved it. She played in the water and I scrubbed her from head to toe. Now she smells like a baby and not like the babyhouse.
     We tried to feed her. She does not like anything I have to offer. Rice cereal- yuck! Bananas- yuck! Apples- yuck! Then I looked at the schedule we were given today. Guess what Grace is use to eating. Strained vegetables, broth, ground meat, and pot cheese. No wonder she won't eat! HA HA. We will be going back to the store tomorrow to try to find things she will eat.
      Right now she is asleep in her crib. I rocked and sang her to sleep. She loves hymns- especially Amazing Grace. I expect that she will be up several times during the night. I hope that she can adjust to me quickly, but I know at some point she will mourn what she has lost. I actually felt guilty today when we left the babyhouse because I felt like I was taking her away from what she had always known. I know that is silly, but I really don't want her to be unhappy and I know that at some point she will be unhappy while she mourns. 
      Tomorrow we are visiting Babyhouse #3 to see where the kids spent their first months of life and to visit the director and thank her. We go to the US Embassy on Friday for paperwork and then we leave for Moscow on Sunday morning. I hope Grace is on some type of schedule by then.
     Oh, by the way- my daughter is beautiful and I can't wait for each of you to meet her. She is truly amazing and I am so lucky to finally have her in my life. We love you all.
      PS. Today, November 14, 2001, is our Gotcha Day. One of the perks of being adopted is having your birthday and a Gotcha Day too. And if anyone can tell me when I will stop crying, I'd really appreciate it. I just can't seem to stop.

The Trip- Day Eight

Tuesday
      Tomorrow is court. Today we met with Gulbanu to go over the procedures and questions. I have to speak to the court about why I want to adopt Grace and how I found her. I'm sure to cry. I don't know how I'll speak and not cry. We have to be there at 9:00 am tomorrow morning. We go in one after another until all three of us are finished. We then go sign some more documents and then we get to come back to the apartment to get Grace's things. We are to pick up the children at 3:00 pm.
     I am so ready and excited to have her with me all the time, but so frightened at the same time. I have never fed her, never changed her diaper, and never put her to sleep. I have no idea how each of those things works. I guess Grace and I will learn each other at the same time.
     Megol will be so sad to see the children go. The past couple of days she has spent more time in our room with us playing with the children. All three of our families really like her and we feel so badly for her. I don't think I could work there, love the children, and then watch them leave even if I knew they were going to a better life.
     We actually ate at a different restaurant today! What a treat! We ate at The Irish Pub and I tried a cheeseburger. YUCK! It was ok, but it was not what I really wanted. I think I'm going to come up with a list of foods I just have to have when I get home. Guess what will be at the top of the list- DIET COKE!. I'm craving one of those so badly.
     Aunt Mary and I finished putting together little remembrances for the babyhouse. We will take those with us tomorrow. I will also take all the donations that my dears friends from school brought for me to take. Each family also gave some money to help the babyhouse buy new furniture four our children's group. It is depressing to think about these children. They have nothing that they can call "mine." Each day our babies come to us in an outfit that has a permanent stamp on the clothing so that nothing disappears. I don't think Grace's group realizes that they don't have their own things, but certainly the older children do.
     So, Wild Child will be with me tomorrow night. Now you all can start praying that she does sleep. We got a copy of their schedule today in Russian. Gulbanu will translate it for us so we can see what they are use to. She says that we will not want to keep that schedule for even one day. We figured out that the children go to bed at 10:00 pm and get up at 6:00 am. Then they eat/play for two hours and nap for two hours the entire day. It just alternates. Boy will our schedule be different. I just hope I can last longer than she can- she is determined.
     I will try to email tomorrow night to tell you about court. Just remember that I will be a real live Mommy at that point and who knows if Grace will cooperate or not. We will see you in less than a week!

The Trip- Day Seven

Monday
     I can officially say that we can see light at the end of the tunnel. Court is on Wednesday. Gulbanu came to the babyhouse today to talk to us. We are meeting with her tomorrow to go over court procedures at 12:00 pm. We will go to the babyhouse tomorrow morning and afternoon and just meet with her in-between. Wednesday morning we go to court at 9:00 am. Once court is over, we do more paperwork and then go pick up the children.
     We are so ready to have them. I think that having them with us and all the little things we have to do from Wednesday on will make the time go by quickly.
     Grace has a cold and she is tired. Her little nose just runs, but it doesn't stop her from playing. She still likes being in the baby carrier. Today there was a stroller that we put the children in to ride them around the room. We could fit two children in at a time. It was something different to do with them and Grace seemed to like riding in the stroller.
   She seems to like having boundaries. I would have never thought that she would like the baby carrier because they are too restrictive, but she does.
    She smiles and has a spirit about her that makes my heart swell with love. She will be fine leaving the babyhouse. We love you.

The Trip- Day Six

Sunday
     Well, there isn't much new information to share when you go to the same place everyday. The children were all tired today as well as their parents. Megol, the assistant to the director, apparently came in on her day off to allow us to visit the children.
     Two new things did happen today. First, we put Grace in the Kapoochi (Snuggli) today. It is the front carrier for babies. I fixed it so she could face out and she really liked it. She would just sit in it and watch everyone else play. I had thought that she would scream bloody murder because it would be too restraining to her. Mom is wrong- again.
    The second thing that happened is that we heard Grace laugh. I had her in the Kapoochi and Megol brought another one of the babies over. Megol took the other babies' foot and "kicked" Grace's feet. She just laughed. Everyone in the room just stopped and listened. It was so sweet to hear her laugh. Megol is so good with the children and she has been so nice to all of us although we have a major language gap. Sign language is what we use!
    Rich Miller brought his laptop again today. Today he just played music on it. Grace loved it. She just looked at the laptop and was very content to stand there and listen to it. She doesn't seem to have a favorite toy, she just wants the one either one of the others is playing with.
     As far as we know, court is still scheduled for Wednesday. We are suppose to meet with Gulbanu, the lawyer, on Monday or Tuesday to go over court procedures and questions. Please pray that things will go quickly on Wednesday and we can pick up the kids Wednesday afternoon. We are all ready to have them with us full-time. Although I am nervous about knowing what Grace wants and needs. We haven't been able to figure out what kids of schedule they are on right now, so all of us are worried about that.
     For the past two days we have seen groups of little ones, maybe 2 years old, outside walking at the babyhouse. They have on identical snowsuits and are all bundled up. When they saw us in the window, several of them stared saying, "Mama, Mama." It was so heart breaking that two year olds know that Americans come to be Mama's and Daddy's to children and those children get to leave. I blew kisses at them and they did it back. It makes me wish I was rich and could take them all home with me.
      We have figured out some of the "Kazak" ways. Driving is an adventure. Forget staying in your lane. It is a two-lane road and when we get to a stop light, there are at least four cars side by side waiting for the light to change. I think that this is as close to being in a NASCAR race as I'm going to get.
      Our apartment does have a washer. It is a front loading washer and one of the cycles is literally 3 hours long. We don't have a dryer, so we hang our clothes to dry. My jeans are soooo stiff. We usually take our towels and place them on the radiators. The air is so dry, so putting the towels on the radiators gives us a little humidity. Never in my life did I think I'd miss humidity.
    Well, that's about all for today. Only two more days until court. We are ready for Grace. Oh, "I don't do babies" Aunt Mary has started talking to each one of the kids. They smile at her and even crawl towards her.It cracks me up. I never thought I'd see that either.

The Trip- Day Five

Saturday
     It is Saturday in Almaty. We actually had rain today. It  was overcast yesterday and today, but it has finally rained. The temperatures are still mild- I think today we are in the 50's. Our apartment and the babyhouse are soooo hot. I know I must keep saying that, but you just don't know. The inside temperatures must be up in the 80's at both places.
     Three more days until we go to court. I am so looking forward to that day. The folks from the other adoption agency (I think I told you all that we met two other families) came to pick up their children today. I got all teary-eyed when they came in to say good-bye with their children. I can't wait until I can bring Grace home with me.
      She has put her head on my shoulder for just a second and she touches my face with her hand. She smiles when she sees me now and lets me hold her for kisses for just a second before she is ready to get down.
     Megol is the assistant to the director at the babyhouse. She is the one who brings the children to us each day and then takes them back. She clearly loves the babies and they all smile at her when she talks to them. She plays with them individually and has been very nice to us. It makes us all feel better to know that she does care about these kids.
      We have had lunch at the same German restaurant for the past four days and we think that is where we will continue to eat. We have a couple of reasons for that. First, the babyhouse is in an industrial part of the city and there are few restaurants. The second reason is that they have menus in English. The food is good and the waiters all think we are from London. The first day they asked in Russian, "......London....." We were all so confused by the Russian that only Michaela caught that he must have been asking if we were from London. We had all nodded yes and it's a really good thing because I think that they become very impatient with us because we don't speak Russian. 
     We are going to the babyhouse tomorrow. There had been some questions about whether we could visit then or not. We are glad although we are getting tired of this routine. I think Aunt Mary was the only one who was disappointed that we could go. The Miller's and Schemmer's have started calling her Aunt Mary too. It is so funny; she's become everyone's Aunt Mary.
     Today Rich Miller brought his computer with a DVD player on it. They had a DVD called Baby Mozart. It is Mozart music with visuals on the screen. The children really liked it. Of course Grace was the first one to lose interest and was ready to go play, but she did watch it for about 15 mintues.
    I read Green Eggs and Ham to all three kids today. It started out with me reading to the girls, but soon Adam joined us. Grace did not like that I was paying attention to Adam and Zhanna, but all three listened until the end of the book.

The Trip- Day Three

Thursday
     We had another good day. Aunt Mary and I both slept better last night, but we are still adjusting. I figure by the time we get adjusted, it'll be time to leave. That's life!
     Grace was a little more active today. We had two other families from another agency come "share" our room today so there were five babies and ten adults in one HOT room. Too much activity for wild child. She seems to get overstimulated quite easily. She likes to be in the know (who does that sound like) and she likes people. She goes to just about anyone.
     This morning she did sit in my lap for a little while and let me play with her. She is "melting" into me a little more. Before she would hold herself stiff, but would let you hold her. She also would not let me put her on her back. Today I actually cradled her and held her close. 
     Today we took the children to have their passport pictures made. Did I mention that the room we are in is HOT. We sweat so much. When we got back from lunch, they told us we would go for the photos around 3:00 pm. At 3:00 pm, Megol came in with huge snowsuits for the babies. It was 65 degrees outside. But, we put the snowsuits on and off we went. Megol came with us and she was actually the one who took the babies into the photo place for their photos. It was quick and then back to the babyhouse.
     Grace liked riding in the car and she behaved very well. I think that she likes to see new things and this was an adventure! She did very well and her passport pictures are cute!
    The other babies are great too. We see them all change every day as they become more comfortable with us and they get individual attention. Grace is calming down and Zhanna Miller seems to be getting more active. Adam Schemmer is just as cute as can be. All three children seem to be developing crawling and moving skills right before our eyes.
     We all are getting more and more attached and it is harder to leave them every day. It won't be long and wild child will be at the apartment with us. I miss you all and hope that things are going well. She is going to bring a lot of life to our lives soon.

The Trip- Day Two

Wednesday-

Day two was even better. Grace is such a riot. She is busy, busy, busy, etc. She smiled when they brought her in this morning. She crawled to me and seemed happy to see me. I brought a couple of different toys today and she really liked them. The Millers and I finally stopped trying to keep the girls from playing with the others' toys and let them trade drool today.
     Grace is a real mover. She likes for you to hold her hands and walk with her. She wants to be where the action is! We had a good two hours together but you could tell that she was getting tired. I stood up with her and just rocked back and forth. She was facing out (so she wouldn't miss any action) and her head kept getting lower and lower until she was almost asleep. We didn't get a picture of it though because Megoul came in to take the babies back. 
     She was much more subdued this afternoon. The Schemmer's asked if they could bring their little boy into the same room as the girls and got approval. All three kids played great together and the adults had fun too.
     Rich Miller had some rings that Grace wanted. She just looked and looked at him for about three minutes like she was studying him. He talked to her and she just looked. Finally, she started crying. She turned around and held her arms out to me. When I picked her up, she stopped crying. Talk about a great feeling (for me; Rich didn't much like it)!
      Both girls have runny noses, but all three children are in such good health. They babble and move to get what they want. They are very well cared for.
      Truthfully, I'm worried to death about the plane ride back. She is not going to sit still. We feel safe and they are taking good care of us. 
      One more thing, we are HOT. The weather here is very nice; in the 60's during the day. We packed very warm clothes and they keep the babyhouse and our apartment hot. I think I'll lose 10 pounds in sweat before we get home.

This is Grace in her crib at the babyhouse.

Grace and Zhanna playing.

The Trip- Day One

  In early November 2001, my Aunt Mary and I left for Almaty, Kazakstan to meet my daughter, Annalee Grace. I was extremely excited, yet apprehensive about this trip. Looking back, it was one of the best two weeks of my life, not only because I finally held my daughter in my arms, but because of the wonderful people we met along the way. I can honestly say that I will never be the same again. Below are some pictures and the emails I sent home from Almaty. They tell Grace's story.

Tuesday
   Aunt Mary and I arrived in Kaz on late Monday night our time, and mid-day your time. The trip was ok. Hard at times due to lack of sleep and cramped space on the airplane, but it really didn't seem that long until we got here.
    When we got to Kazakstan, we went through passport control. Not only were we at the end of the line, the official took Aunt Mary's passport out of her booth, locked the door, and left with it for about 3 mintues. We just stood and waited. The official brought it back and stamped it. Scary for a few minutes. Then we struggled with heavy luggage and made it through customs.
    The apartment we are staying in is nice. It has a living room, small kitchen, bathroom, and two other rooms. One is a room with a double bed and the other has some couches in it and a horrible looking crib. I slept on the couch last night and it felt so good.

Now about Grace. She is just beautiful. This morning the driver came and got us to take us to the babyhouse. We were to meet the lawyer there. We arrived at the babyhouse and waited a little while for the lawyer and two other families to arrive. We went into the orphanage and went upstairs to meet the director. The lawyer told us that this was not Babyhouse #3. That one is being renovated and they recently had moved all the children to this orphanage. She warned us that the children may seem sad because of it as their regular caregivers did not come with them. We were sad because we wanted to meet and thank them for caring for our children. We talked to the director and she told us about our children. When she got to Grace she told me that she was weak and her legs would not withstand her weight. I asked is she was crawling. No, said the director and the lawyer said that she wasn't even sitting up yet. It didn't matter, she was mine, no matter what. They took the Schemmers to see their little boy and left the Millers, Aunt Mary, and me to wait. They finally came back and took us up to the room where the girls were. We left our things in an outside room and then got to go into the room where the girls were. I just about could have jumped out of my skin. It was finally here- the moment I had waited for so long. I walked in and they were "walking" her (she was holding on to a caregivers fingers and walking). They told her in Russian, "This is your Mama (I understood the Mama part)." She came right to me and I held the little person I have dreamed about for so long. She just looked at me. She really didn't know what to make of the idiot who was holding her choking back tears. Aunt Mary has it on video.
      She is perfect and beautiful. She wasn't too sure of me at first. We were invited to sit down and play with them. We pulled out some of the toys we brought and played with her. She wouldn't look me in the eye, but was fascinated with the cameras. We looked at books and she loves to put anything in her mouth. 
     Then my daughter did exactly what they said she couldn't do. She crawls and sits up! The crawling is the funniest though. She crawls on her left knee and right foot. She also can go from crawling to sitting and can get up on her left knee like she is going to walk anyday. 
     They told us we would have to move to the music room with the babies at this point. We gathered everything up and went downstairs. This is when the girls really came to life. Both were so animated. Grace crawled all over. She was more interested in everyone else but me. She really didn't want to interact with me at all. Once again, just like me- she was being nosy and wated to know what else was  going on in the room. Towards the end of our visit she would smile at me. 
     We left and went to lunch and came back to the babyhouse at 2:00 pm for our next visit. Once again, we had different girls on our hands. Grace will fit into the family. She is high energy, all smiles, and demanding. She likes things her way! During these two hours, she smiled at me, reached her arms out to me, and was more interactive. She even got Aunt Mary to hold her for a little while and then spit up on Aunt Mary!
      She has all ten fingers and toes (Michaela and I waited until the caregiver left the room so we could take their socks off and look at their feet). Everyone keeps saying how active she is. They aren't lying, trust me.
     Now I'll tell you what I've already concluded about our Amazing Grace. She will keep up with Davis and Paiden (her cousins), she will never sit still, she will charm anyone with her smile, and she will never go to sleep without fighting it. She is strong-willed and nosy. She is the one thing that is making my heart whole. 
     We got our court date, Wednesday the 14th. We will get Grace that day or early the next morning. Until then, we visit from 10-12 and 2-4 everyday.
     Thank you all for your prayers. They got us here safe and sound and helped me finally hold Annalee Grace in my arms. My life will never be the same.

My first time holding Grace on the floor of her room.